Relax…It’s okay to be a little scared.

Whether we’re able to admit it or not, we’re all a little scared. Those who aren’t are either living a safe, comfortable, somewhat insular life, or are deluding themselves a bit. But for the vast majority of people who actively engage with the world and stretch into new experiences, life tends to bring out our insecurities.

Despite how brave and self-assured we appear, we’re all a little nervous and anxious inside. With so much volatility and uncertainty in the world, why wouldn’t we be?

So, let’s take some comfort in the fact that we’re all in this boat together. And, let’s embrace our fear.

In developmental coaching, we invite people to experience the fear. Instead of working to overcome it right away, let’s make sure we fully understand it.

Most people are incapable of doing this on their own. We’re better at masking our insecurities, suppressing our stress, or dismissing it whole-cloth. And, some of us have gotten great at it…to our profound detriment.

We’ve been trained to be strong, and to avoid appearing vulnerable. “Never let them see you sweat.” Or, “Carry your own water.” Or, whatever subliminal messages society ingrained into our psyche throughout our lives, all helped shape our behaviors and attitudes around asking for help.

Try something new. Try asking for help. Small but meaningful favors from lots of people. Condition yourself to succumb to your own vulnerability; to the reality that we all need a little help from time to time. Allow others to be generous to you.

The real paradox here is three-fold:
1. When we show vulnerability, we build trust. In fact, showing vulnerability is the fastest way to engender trust from others.
2. When we give others the opportunity to be generous to us, we are giving them a gift. The generosity they show actually brings them joy.
3. The laws of reciprocity dictate that you’ll eventually return the favor, entitling you to the same joy that comes from helping others.

We don’t get extra credit for going it alone. So, go out there and start asking for help. Do it every day for 30 days, and notice what happens. Focus on what you need and the universe will deliver.